Sexual Assault. Rape. Breaking Down a Meme.
“Women urged to carry keys between fingers. Women urged to cover their drinks at all times. Women urged to not get drunk around men. Women urged to not walk alone at night. Women urged to carry pepper spray. CAN WE PLEASE URGE MEN TO NOT SEXUALLY ASSAULT WOMEN.”
I came across this meme on social media this morning on Instagram; I follow #metoo posts. How great is this that we are acknowledging the one cause for being sexually assaulted: THE PERPETRATOR! But this meme is SO NOT inclusive. And maybe that’s the point of it. It would be more inclusive if the last sentence could be true without having to say ANYTHING about the victim.
I also want to add that men/women are used here based on statistics. But there is a small statistic of men that are sexually assaulted by women. She/he/they sexually assault or rape her/him/they. Sexual violence can go any combination of that previous sentence.
But what about children? How should they be protecting themselves from sexual violence? Hardly anything in the above meme pertains to children.
What about a woman intentionally going on a date with a man, not knowing what he is capable of or what his intentions are? What about girlfriends that experience sexual violence from their boyfriends? What about wives that are raped or sexually abused by their husbands? Having keys between their fingers, covering their drinks, and not walking alone at night wouldn’t necessarily apply.
What about athletes that experience sexual assault by their coaches? What about nurses that experience sexual harassment by doctors? What about students that experience sexual harassment by their teachers?
I think this meme is a phenomenal example of why survivors need to be heard. When you hear about rape, what do you think? Oh, they must have been drunk. They must have been grabbed on the street. They must have been wearing a slutty costume at a Halloween party. *Cue the buzzer* — EH, wrong! It. Is. Not. About. The. Survivor. It is simply, only the fault of the perpetrator/rapist. They are the ONLY one to blame. Being raped doesn’t always happen because a woman is grabbed while walking home alone drunk in the dark from a bar (but even if this is their story, and even if the woman was drunk, it is still only the rapist to blame!). The things mentioned in the above meme could help a percentage of women who are raped, sure. But I mean, what if a woman was sleeping in her own bed with the doors locked? *shrugs*
- Gracefully steps off soapbox… in sparkly red heels*
You can find more articles on my blog: https://minnesotalioness.wixsite.com/survivors and eventually my book, when I find a publisher. =)
Of note, on November 18th of 2018, a masked, armed man broke into my home. I woke up at 1:27 am to a gun pointed at my head, was tied up, and raped 3 times over the course of 5 hours with my son sleeping in the room next door. (You can Google the media’s version of the story: Zane Robert Pederson).
